Stop Trying To Make Us Normal

To everyone who's trying to make us "normal" or "cool" through therapies, peer pressure, or even with mere "suggestions",

Please stop.  You're not helping us.  You're hurting us.  You're making us feel bad about ourselves because we feel like we have to fit in or conform to society to be accepted as human beings.  It's hurting our self-esteem, and it can leave lasting consequences.

Parents and caregivers, when you put your child through ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis), you're not only suppressing their traits that make them wonderfully unique, you're also making them feel bad about being who they are.  This can lead to frustration for the child because they feel they don't have a way to express themselves, which is the reason for aggressive behaviors.  In short: ABA does more harm than good.

Also, if your loved one is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer, do not make them go to conversion therapy or any "ex-gay" ministries to try to make them heterosexual or cisgender.  I firmly believe that the "ex-gay" movement is bogus.  You can't just attend a couple of classes or sessions and be straight.  It doesn't work that way.    Plus, many people who have gone through conversion therapy have left there feeling worse about themselves than before.  Many people have abused drugs or alcohol, harmed themselves in other ways, or even attempted suicide because they had such low feelings of self-worth.

And to the young people who are trying to pressure their peers into being "cooler", whether it's by smoking, drinking, doing drugs, having sex, or following the latest trends, stop.  These are self-destructive suggestions, and today's youth already have enough academic and parental pressure.  They don't need your input on how to live their lives.  How someone chooses to live their life is a decision between them and God.  Please stay out of it.

I've been through a hell of a lot of pressure to conform, by both adults and other kids throughout my life, and it's taken it's toll on me.  I haven't gone through conversion therapy (thank God), but I have gone through schools that have ABA-like teachings, which has made me feel like I was a bad person because I'm Autistic.  Plus, in the middle of the night, I used to cry and pray that God would take away my feelings for other girls, but I now realize that He created me this way for a reason.  I'm still trying to figure out what that reason is, however.

I'm also now trying to "re-learn" to be myself again, and by that I mean stimming freely, dressing the way I want, watching TV show and movies I like, etc.

I encourage everyone to just be themselves.  Living to please other people does nothing but stress you out.  It even causes depression, as it has in me.  If I could go back in time, I would try my best to resist pressure to fit in.  Even if I lose friends, at least I know I won't be under so much pressure to conform.  And those people weren't my true friends anyway.

I believe that we were all made wonderfully and fearfully by a loving God, and He doesn't make mistakes.  So whether you're LGBTQ, straight, cisgender, disabled, non-disabled Black, White, Latino/a, Asian, Native American, etc., you are special, and you are unique.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not worthy because you don't conform to the status quo.  It's good to not conform.

Show your true colors!        

Five Ways Employers Can Better Accommodate Autistic Employees

Many Autistic people are unemployed or underemployed.  I think the reason for this is because many potential employers are not accepting and accommodating enough for them.  Here are five ways employers can better accommodate Autistic employees:

1. Do not force your employee to make eye contact with others.

 Many Autistic people have trouble making eye contact when talking to other people because we cannot process both auditory and visual stimuli at the same time.  It is very uncomfortable for us to look at someone while talking to them because the combination of auditory stimuli (what the person is saying to us) and visual stimuli (looking at the person who we are conversating with) is often overwhelming for us.  It does not mean we are not listening to you when we do not look at you.  We just have a different way of processing information inside our minds.

2. Allow extra time for your employee to respond to you.

Because an Autistic person may process information a little differently than a neurotypical (non-Autistic) person would, it may take us longer to figure out what you're saying to us.  Also, many Autistic people use other forms of commucation besides verbal words, such as iPads, letter boards, writing, and picture boards, so it may take longer for them to respond to you.

3. Allow your employee to stim.

For those of you who are not familiar with stimming, it's a type of coping mechanism that occurs naturally in many Autistic people.  Many of us stim to regulate our moods, or as a response to stimuli around us.  Some examples of stimmming mechanisms include body-rocking, hand-flapping, jumping, etc.  Fidgeting with objects can also count as stimming.  Usually, stimming is harmless to the person doing the stimming, and the people around them, so please allow us to use our coping mechanisms.

4. Allow your employees to take breaks.

Autistic people can become "burned-out" very easily, which may cause physical and emotional distress and may effect our job performance.  To avoid employee burnout, allow us to take breaks when we need them.  For example, allow us to have "stim breaks" when we need them to allow us to stim freely when we need to.

5. Give clear, precise instructions about your employee's task to them.

Many Autistic people need very detailed instructions on how to do our jobs, and many of us need them in steps.  We cannot process too much information at once.  It may be overwhelming for us.  Some Autistics prefer verbal instruction, while others, like myself prefer visual instructions, such as pictures or large-print text.  If you are not sure what your employee prefers as far as what type of instructions they prefer, ask them.
 
In conclusion, Autistic people are good workers and we can work hard and to the best of our ability given the right accomodations.  I firmly believe that if more employees took the time to gove Autistic people these accommodations, Autistic people will have much more success in the workforce.

For more information about Autism, go to the Autistic Self Advocacy Network's website.

Why I Moved To Blogger

I decided to move to Blogger because it has an easier layout for me.  Plus, some of my posts on my Wordpress site no longer apply to me, so I decided to make a fresh start with Blogger.  Please bear with me as I make some changes!