Autistic Youth Need Better Role Models

trigger warning: mention of suicide

I have just read a recent article from The Telegraph about an 11-year-old Autistic boy named Shane Laycock who committed suicide.  I wasn't too fond of how it was written, but I could relate to how the boy was feeling.

Shane said he hated adults because they always pushed him aside.  And as a way to cope with the feeling of being isolated, he would climb this tree and take refuge.

Since kindergarten, I have disliked my teachers because I felt that they didn't understand me.  As a result, I would have meltdowns.

Sometimes I felt even my own mother didn't understand my wants and needs.  I was also bullied by other classmates throughout elementary school, so I felt like I had nobody in my corner.

So when I was 8, I started creating imaginary friends.  It may seem unusual for an 8-year-old to create imaginary friends instead of getting rid of them, but this was my coping strategy for dealing with the isolation I was facing.

A year later when I was 9, I wrote my first story for a class assignment.  I the idea that I could create my own world the way I wanted it.  It made me feel like I finally had control over one aspect of my life.

And when I was 17, I started writing private short stories about my imaginary friends.  I guess imagination and writing go hand in hand.

But my creative brain didn't change the way I felt about myself.  When I got to middle school, I started to feel depressed from all the years of isolation and loneliness.  By the middle of the year, I even started to wonder if life was even worth living.

I continued to feel lonely throughout the years, so in my sophomore year of high school, I decided to try and fit in with my peers, just so I would be liked by them.  Big mistake.

It was a mistake because I ended up feeling even more depressed than ever.  School became so unbearable that I almost dropped out in my senior year.

Three years ago, I attempted suicide.  I felt so horrible about myself for so long that I just couldn't take it anymore.

Maybe if I had a good mentor in my youth I would have felt better about myself.  Maybe if Shane had a good mentor to show him that Autism isn't a bad thing he would still be alive today.

Yes, we have successful Autistic people like Temple Grandin, but it's not enough. We need role models who know what it's like to be different, who know what it's like to be shunned or mistreated because we're different, and who have compassion towards us.

Also, neurotypicals need to tell Autistic kids that they're not "bad" or lesser or defective, and they need to stop acting like they are.  It can really hurt their self-esteem.

Personally, I think the best mentor for an Autistic child is an adult who is Autistic themselves, but a neurotypical can also be a good mentor as long as they make the child feel empowered, not deflated.

Rest In Power, Shane Laycock.